Have i done enough today? something i wrote today after hearing about a death of a friend.

I think about death every day, but I’m not depressed

Because I know this life is just a test

Have I done enough?

No I’m not ready

No time to waste, nor take things steady

Did I respect my mother like I should?

Or did I think I was too good?

To give her time and respect her ways

For how she suffered for me, back in the days

Or did I do my prayers on time?

I pray my heart will be free of grime

I wonder have I upset someone today?

Or did I wear my hijab in the wrong way?

Don’t be paranoid they all said...

You will create a problem with in your head..

But I can’t lie to myself, I can’t sleep at night

This judgment day we are all promised, has given me a fright

What am I going to do when my day has come?

And in that grave, I’m the only one?

To answer for my actions and the bad things I did.

I know now, that I can’t tell a fib

When everyone just walks away.

And in the ground, I will stay.

Or what about when, I ate today?

When I finished what did I say?

Or did I take for granted what Allah provided to me?

And be disappointed or worried for what my life might be?

Did I trust him with everything I got?

Surely hell fire must be so hot.

Do I complain about to much about my problems?

Instead of thanking Allah, for all of them.

Did I get angry or lose the plot?

For something Allah has concealed, and I know not?

Did I say Salam and smile at my sister?

And did I lower my gaze towards that Mister?

Have I visited the one who is sick?

Or has shayton given my eman a kick?

All this, runs through my mind every day.

There really is no time to play.

So for now I say Alhumdulilah.

And pray my heart will never be far.

Inshallah, sticking to my Deen.

Hoping my mind and heart will be clean.

So have I done enough for today?

Who am I to really say?

just thought i would share this lovely prayer

" O Allah, when I lose hope because my plans have come to nothing...

Then help me to remember that,

Your Love is always greater than my disappointments,

&

Your Plans for my life are always better than my dreams.."
(Ameen)

a small video i made

this is a short video i made just with things i see alot in the western world being western myself and choosing Islam i now look back and see it all diffrently

she bought tears to my eyes

ok 2 posts in one day now thats amazing!!! ok my first post i was having a rant about my day any way something positive for once my mother came over today and we were talking about last weekend about how my lovely aunty attacked me over wearing the hijab anyways my mum apologised about not sticking up for me and how i did a great job standing for what i beleive in and how she is so proud of me and she now supports me being a muslim and how it would be any mothers dream to have such a well respected daughter who doesnt drink or sleep around and doesnt show her body off to strangers i almost cried my eyes welled up with tears as did hers and she said she is proud of me and my whole family is awwww mummy i love you thank you and alhumdulilah that allah made her see me in a diffrent light she has come from a women who first told me to abort my child and laughing at me for my religion to now making islamic clothing and supporting me in my way of life subhan allah im so happy

im sick to death of people whinging about stupid things!!

ok so i finished work for the week and im so pooped.

I deal with the public on a daily basis and im sick to death of hearing women complain about how they are getting old and too many wrinkles or how they have had the flu for 3 weeks and how their husbands didnt get them this or do that for them and how they have to many brown spots on their face and wrinkles on the back of their hands ok in case u havent noticed im no miracal maker and from the minute your born we start to age like cut friut that has been left out to long it begins to go brown then wrinkle so shut up apple head!!! think of the people in other countries who cant feed them selves and stop whinning about how you wanted the leather seats inside your car rather than the upolstered ones!! im so sick of it i used to work in a big salon 4 years ago and it was in a upmarket part of town we were just down the road from the childrens hospital i had one lady come in and start complaing to me that some girl didnt do her eye lash perm correctly and her eye lashes we wonky and not curly enough i though any curlier lady and they will start to look like pubic hairs lol sorry but it wasnt the day to complain and the as i was listening to her talk deeply concerned as i was i saw a young girl who would have been all of about 11 years old getting pushed in a wheel chair by her 2 parents hand and hand she had no hair on her head she had cancer and they were walking her back to the hospital i felt like saying to the lady look at that poor girl she doesnt even have eye lashes!!

im just so sick of people being superficial like i understand you want to feel good and thats great look after yourself but dont get so involved it runs your life and actually makes u depressed god be happy you can walk,talk,speak,feel,touch ,hear,see,taste all of life but you choose to close all your senses and think poor me go live in a war zone go try survive in africa or india for a day living like they do and tell me are you still depressed? start opening your eyes people and be gratefull for what you got you never know when it will be taken from you and then when it is all you can say is i wish i had of done this or if only dont let it get to that change now!!! now coz im sick of hearing it hahah

oh what a weekend

i dont get on here to often to blog but when i do it always seems its to complain but anyways i want to start off on telling you about my weekend it was on friday that i got home absolutly exhusted from work and i had to make a cake for my son's 3rd birthday it was to have red icing with a licorice spiderweb on top he loves spiderman well how was i to know that a whole bottle of red colouring still wouldnt make the icing red enough so it looked pink with blue cream on the inside and a half arsed attempt to make a spider web on top wich i later realised when i looked at it was all wrong so i took every single lil bit a licorice off and started again there was red icing everywhere then my lil darling decided to help me by licking the bowl aka sticking your whole head inside it and litterally licking it that was fun there was red stuff everywhere i was pretty proud of myself in the end i thought it looked great well i was happy enough so i thought ok time to wrap presents zakariya was in bed so i started wrapping and then realised oh crap i only had enough paper for 1 present hmmm i thought maybe i can just give it to him in the myers bags i got them in no no no i thought he is 3 he needs to rip it open so all i could find was a5 writing paper so i proceded to stick 3 of them together to form wrapping paper and ta da!! i did it, i blew up a few baloons and stuck them out next to the presents so when he wakes up in the mornig he gets a suprise and with that i went to bed.

so now its saturday morning zak loves his presents and didnt seem to mind the a5 wrapping paper my mum is due any min and im still in my pj's great so i ran like a mad hatter to get ready and she arrived with more presents and we decided to go to the fun factory coz the weather was so bad it ruied our plans for the zoo any way i thought not going to let that ruin the day so we got there like 1 hour late we were meeting some others there but mum decided to tell me a shortcut way how to get there and i listened so i cant really blame anyone my mum doesnt even live in perth but she says she knows it better than me i think we argued the whole way there.

so we went inside and zak is off like a jet he is on the cars and the scooters god me and mum were talking i looked away for litterally 3 seconds and bam he was gone omg mum where is zak mums like u go that way ill go this way so she went left i went right i swear there were like 300 kids in the place 10 mins passed and i really started to panick where is my baby then all of a sudden i hear "mama look at me" im looking around and here he is up the top of the biggest jungle gym there right up the top he is waving and laughing at me telling everyone at the top of his lungs its his birthday he is a little daredevil so we relaxed after that went and grabbed a coffee then zak decided he wanted to ride a little push car there were none left so he just went and sat on one with a child already on it infront of him and pushed off so hard the poor lil kid fell off the back and zak just sped off around the race track so as a good parent i went and told him to share and be carefull needless to say i could feel the eyes of the other kids parents burning into my back i felt terrible but what can you do i have a strong willed child.

so we went home after all that so tired and just ordered turkish pizza well my mum tried i gave her the phone and the number and i found her talking to them like she was speaking to a asian who never heard english in there life and she was like 3 pizza's th- ree pi- z- zas at that point i grabbed the phone and realised it was just a labanese guy who had a really bad aussie bogan accent hahaha i was told 20 mins SWEET i thought im so hungry i went to pick them up all was good they were the best pizzas ever we sang happy birthday and zak went to bed i told him as i was laying him down oh my baby is growing up so fast he replied with "Mama i not a baby" oh well that was a slap in the face and he is only 3.

ok so sunday comes around and i thought at last i can relax then mum suggest why dont we invite your aunty around wich is her sister for a coffee ok sure why not so my aunty turns up now she is very anti muslim and this is the first time she has seen me in hijab she proceded to say whats this on your head? i replied a scarf why whats it look like then she said what for your so beautiful? i said thats why i want to cover it up its only a simple part of me and i only want my husband to see me! then she replied with oh in a laughing matter what are u saving your self for some muslim god? wow you really know nothing at all about islam do u for starters we only worship one god and just because im not like out there partying and drinking everynight and wearing revealing clothes you tell me im a worry to my family? and then she said oh so its a man making you wear it oh ya allah save me my mum just looked to the ground in the end i just said its my life my choice dont you dare enter my house and judge me on what im wearing im happy and this is what i beleive in, and with that i asked any one for tea or coffee and they bothed jumped at yes tea please it was the most akward feeling ahhhh i then had my friend jodie drop by, Saviour!!!! she broke it up a bit then my aunt left and i just said thank god you came around i was ready to kill hahah they both couldnt beleive what happened ahh what i day so after everyone left i decided to blurt it all out to my husband what had happened and he made me feel better he is the best:D then i went to run zakariya a bath and i dropped my bloody phone in the water ahhhhh could this wknd get any better thank god its over!

its a party in my pantry

ok for my first blog im going to start off my complaing about something going on in my pantry it all started in my old house about 1 month ago i noticed a few lil moths flying about in my kitchen i thought oh its because i have left the back door open anyways about 2 weeks later it began i opened my kitchen door and i noticed on my celing there were wrigglers as i like to call them but they resemble maggots i was so grossed out i am more than clean there has never been food left out i was even to scared to make a coffee incase one decided to go swimming, so i called my dear mother surely she would know what this is i asked "mum what are these things on my celing?" she replied with "ohhhhhhhhh i had them you have to throw everything out in ur pantry that is boxed or plastic its pantry moths!!!" i thought ok i have a few things maybe they got into i opened my pantry and holy hell!!!!! they have invaded everything those little inconsiderate buggers "do you have any idea about this ressesion i cant afford to be throwing away all this food" i was explaining to them but no away they were wriggling thinking its heaven with all the flour i had in there the stupid things even got into my chilli now what breed of weevils does that they must be from india.

any way i thought well not to worry im moving house in a week and i have now thrown out 3 large rubish bags full of ruined food into the bin cleaned everything im ok.

ok we did it we moved i set everything into my new pantry standing back and admiring everything all neatly placed in order thought now its in the past well 2 weeks ago i was looking for some spices to cook with and....... yep you guessed it the lil wrigglers are back i thought ill get you!! and got the spray with out thinking its going all over the food just went like a fire man trying to put out a 10 story high fire i went that day to buy plastic containers to put all my dry food in here i am staying up that night untill 2.30am vacuming my pantry wiping over the shelfs vacuming the celing surly my neighbours thought im nuts,but nuttiness is called for when these stipud things come to invade well after all of that i was well and truely ready to get petrol and a match to show them once and for all i tell you i was like a mad woman so i decided oh well ill have a hot chocolate to calm down relax before bed now this hot chocolate in in a tin with a tin lid and i made my self a cup and looked down and omg is that...... no im just tired took another look and ahhhhh its a wriggler in my drink looking back at me oh god ok it went down the drain and the tin went in the bin,now for the past 2 weeks i have been fighting these lil wrigglers sucking them up with my vacume putting bay leaves and i heard also sticks of spearmint chewing gum on everyshelf will keep them away hell im trying anything and i figured if your ever short on gum lol just might take you a while to get started might be a lil tough after a while. im currently still fighting this war against them im sure i will win i just hope i dont have to resort to setting the house alight....